either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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