so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
