but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
