I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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