Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
i've created a new STD.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
