he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
