The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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