I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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