I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
