About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
