If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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