I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
