Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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