another moral hangover. fuck.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
