Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
