This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
