the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
