all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I am one with the molecules
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
