I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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