I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Fuck appropriateness.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
