what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
