You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
