HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
