i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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