I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Rumble strips road head = magical
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
