and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Vodka?
Forever.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
