everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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