Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
