Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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