I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
she told me i tasted like america
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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