they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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