i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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