I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize