i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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