So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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