the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
