Can i not drive my cunt home
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I will pee on everything he values.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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