yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
