Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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