she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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