Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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