batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
