Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
