This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
