there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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