mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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