Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
