oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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