I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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