I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
