U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
