i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
