I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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